Perpetual problems are 68% of problems that couples face. Dr. Gottman said, “When choosing a long-term partner… you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty, or fifty years.”
Over this last week I have been paying more attention to the little problems, arguments, or disagreements that my husband and me were having. I have to say that the above quote is so very true. I have found the last week that we have a few of the same arguments. They really are not big deals. They are mostly just little disagreements just like Dr. Gottman said.
* Why do I always forget my log in and pass words?
* Why can’t he just listen to me when I am giving him directions?
* Why can’t I do the laundry when I am home during the day?
* Who’s music we listen to while in the car.
These are a few that came up this week. These are disagreements that we have been having for years and probably will for many more. There were more when we first were married but since then we have found ways to manage our conflicts.
In my opinion I think that forgiveness goes hand in hand with having perpetual problems. I think that in the last 24 years my husband and I have had many problems come and go. They change over the years as our marriage had changed and also as we have grown.